What boys need now: character, belonging and guidance
The TV drama Adolescence is uncomfortable viewing because it feels close to home. It portrays boys growing up online, shaped more by algorithms than adults, absorbing ideas about masculinity and entitlement before they have the tools to question them.
The anger, isolation and confusion on screen are not fictional. They echo what many schools are seeing every day. DfE research found that 70 per cent of secondary school teachers have dealt with sexual violence or harassment between pupils.
Against this backdrop, the UK government has announced a widely reported strategy to halve violence against women and girls in a decade. It includes early interventions – in schools – teacher training on talking about issues like consent and healthy relationships, as well as intensive programmes for those boys showing concerning behaviour.
Why are boys struggling?
At the root of the misogyny and online hate sits a problem. Many boys are struggling to understand who they are, where they belong and what it means to be a man.
When positive guidance is missing, harmful narratives quickly fill the gap. Richard Reeves, the author of Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do About It, contrasts the messaging received by boys and girls: “Girls’ messages are all empowerment and boys are given the message ‘be less toxic.’”
Schools are left supporting boys’ wellbeing while also protecting girls and promoting respectful relationships.
The 2025 Centre for Social Justice report, Lost Boys: State of the Nation, shows boys and young men falling behind across education, mental health and employment. Rising exclusion and disengagement from school sit alongside the stark reality that suicide remains the leading cause of death for men under 50 in the UK.
So positive male role models matter more than ever. Not as perfect heroes, but as real examples of character, values and responsibility. In a noisy and polarised world, schools have a vital role in offering boys something steadier and grounded. What messages about success and masculinity are boys picking up day to day in your school?
Identity: why understanding who we are is important
A secure sense of identity is a foundation stone for wellbeing, behaviour and positive relationships.
For some boys, particularly those from marginalised or unstable backgrounds, positive reflections of themselves are limited.
Schools play a unique role in shaping how young people understand themselves and others. A consistent language of strengths and focus on values and positive male role models can help teachers lead conversations on topics such as consent. And it can help boys to develop healthier identities, stronger relationships and greater resilience.
Connection: belonging beyond the screen
Belonging matters too. Schools reinforce this by creating environments where relationships matter, collaboration is valued and asking for support is normalised.
Character strengths such as courage, empathy and teamwork become lived experiences rather than abstract concepts.
Amazing People Schools offers a strengths-based framework, a robust and highly effective approach endorsed by the Association of Character Education.
It gives young men a lens through which to view themselves, their relationships and the world around them. And it’s brought to life through diverse role models and their stories – fitting naturally into PSHE, assemblies and curriculum planning.
The framework identifies ‘strengths of action’ that help deepen conversations with boys around misogyny, consent and can help them flourish:
• Courage: I challenge toxic assumptions, language and behaviour even when it’s difficult and I face disapproval or fear.
• Integrity: I do what I know is right, even when no one’s watching, even though it’s hard. This helps me believe in myself.
• Enthusiasm: I have the positive energy to pursue what I believe and that boosts my self-confidence.
• Perseverance: I stick at things, I don’t give up and that gives me a sense of purpose.
Are character strengths recognised, named and rewarded in your setting? If you’re looking for a practical starting point, our free Strengths of Action assemblies for Primary and Secondary schools are designed to help open thoughtful conversations around respect, consent and behaviour.
Culture: what schools choose to value
Culture is shaped by what is celebrated, rewarded and modelled. A strengths-based culture shows young people that character matters as much as attainment and that how you treat others counts. As Sir Gareth Southgate, former England manager, has observed, values such as courage, humility and integrity offer a counterpoint to online narratives that glorify dominance, wealth or status at any cost. How is success defined in your school, and whose stories are visible to pupils? For boys, learning that failure is part of growth and that respect and responsibility define success is crucial. Every member of a school community contributes to culture. When boys are trusted to reflect, learn from mistakes and develop their character, they are more likely to act with agency and care.
Helping boys flourish
Supporting boys is about giving them the guidance, language and role models they need to develop respect for themselves and others. When schools invest in character, they help boys build healthier identities, stronger relationships and a more positive contribution to school life and beyond.
Curious about how character strengths could support your class, school or trust? If you’re a teacher, senior leader or PSHE lead, exploring next steps, we’d be happy to have an informal chat.
Further reading
Scott Galloway – Notes on being a Man – Simon & Schuster 2025
Richard Reeves – Of Boys and Men – Swift Press 2022
Schools must teach healthy relationships to tackle misogyny | Tes
Misogynistic myths kicked out of classrooms to protect children - GOV.UK
Teachers to be trained to spot early signs of misogyny in boys - BBC News
Image attributions
Tom Daley: Jim Thurston, CC BY-SA 2.0; Marcus Rashford: Oleg Bkhambri (Voltmetro), CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons; Kevin Sinfield: Gerard Barrau, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons; Billy Monger: @billymongerracing via Instagram; Riz Ahmed: Red Carpet Report on Mingle Media TV from Culver City, USA, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
